• emsteinbrink

Why you feel stuck in your style

Updated: Feb 16, 2021



If we're honest with ourselves, we all have a vision for how we want to look. If you've ever pinned over a celebrity or icon's look, or created a "dream closet" Pinterest board, or admire how a co-worker dresses, you have a vision for your style. Or, at the very least, you know how you'd like to show up in the world.


Then, why is it so hard to actually realize your ideal style on a day-to-day basis? For many women I know, there are just too many barriers that get in the way.


Let's see if any of these statements resonate with you...



"I'm frustrated and overwhelmed by my closet."


"I struggle with how to put outfits together."


"I have no style. I am hopeless."


"I don't feel comfortable in my body. I hate parts of my body and would prefer to just cover them up."


" I spend money on clothes but then don't wear them."


"I have tons of clothes I love but don't know what to do with them."


"I hate shopping and am overwhelmed by the options."


"I don't know where to shop for my style or my age."


"I don't have time or energy to focus on my closet or my style -let alone pick out an outfit every morning."


"What I wear doesn't really make that big of a difference in my life."


"I can't find great examples of how to dress my body shape, or dress for my age."


"I am making big changes inside, but don't know how to reflect that on the outside."



How many of these statements do you identify with?


If you are nodding your head as you read this, you are not alone. These are all actual statements I hear from my clients, or women I talk to about style.


And I get it.


We stop entertaining the idea of creating this style vision for ourselves, and just assume it isn't in the cards.

The reality of our hectic lives (and that pesky pandemic) can get in the way of creating what we want. We don't always have the time or energy to build that vision for ourselves, and so we just let it fall to the wayside. We stop entertaining the idea of creating this vision for ourselves, and just assume it isn't in the cards. We tell ourselves we just can't have it all.



Highly successful women delegate, without hesitation or guilt.


In last week's blog, I talked all about the habits of highly successful, high-earning women. And you know what I noticed about them? They don't hesitate to ask for help when they need it. They recognize where they have strengths and skillsets, and they delegate the rest. Without hesitation. And without guilt.


Now, I grew up on a farm in Iowa, and do you think we adopted this mindset of asking for help? Oh, hell no! We did everything ourselves, even if it killed us. If you didn't work yourself to the bone, you weren't worth your salt. Your value was determined by how hard you worked.


This mindset was ingrained in me and became a core value without even realizing it... to the point that I worked myself ragged in those early working years. When I became a mom, I had to (out of necessity) unlearn these bad habits. I had to come to terms with the fact that I simply couldn't do it all. And I had to be ok with the fact that I needed help (gulp).


So I made changes for the sake of prioritizing my health and sanity. When the kids were little, and I was working long hours, I had my groceries delivered (long before there was a need from the pandemic!) instead of taking a couple hours of my day going to the store. I hired someone to help me clean instead of taking away that precious relaxation, play and restorative time from my weekends.


Point being, I got smart. And I was so much happier as a result!


I believe that getting help with your style is no different than soliciting help with cleaning your house. If you don't love it, and it is a source of stress and frustration, but you know it needs to be done to get where you want, why the hell not?

I believe that getting help with your style is no different than soliciting help with cleaning your house. If you don't love it, and it is a source of stress and frustration, but you know it needs to be done to get where you want, why the hell not? Take the worry out of your hands, and enlist help once and for all.



What asking for help feels like.


Now let's imagine for a minute how it would feel to ask for help with achieving your ideal style. Let's flip the script from your old reality to something different...


OLD REALITY >>> NEW REALITY


"I'm frustrated and overwhelmed by my closet." >>> "I have a curated closet, full of things I love."


"I struggle with how to put outfits together." >>> "I have endless outfit combinations."


"I have no style. I am hopeless." >>> "I have a unique style that showcases my personality."


"I don't feel comfortable in my body. I hate parts of my body and would prefer to just cover them up." >>> "I celebrate the body I have."


" I spend money on clothes but then don't wear them." >>> "I buy only things that I love, and feel good about my purchases."


"I have tons of clothes I love but don't know what to do with them." >>> "I know how to mix and match the clothes I have."


"I hate shopping and am overwhelmed by the options." >>> "Shopping is effortless and easy."


"I don't know where to shop for my style or my age." >>> "I know exactly where to find things that fit my style and that feel appropriate for my age."


"I don't have time or energy to focus on my closet or my style - let alone pick out an outfit every morning." >>> "Getting dressed every morning is a breeze."


"What I wear doesn't really make that big of a difference in my life." >>> "What I wear changes how I feel, and how I show up in the world."


"I can't find great examples of how to dress my body shape, or dress for my age." >>> "My body or age is no barrier to what I can achieve with my style."


"I am making big changes inside, but don't know how to reflect that on the outside." >>> "As I change, my style evolves with it."



Does this all sound like a pipe dream? Too good to be true? I'm here to tell you: It isn't.


One of the best things about my daily work as a personal stylist is that I get to help women break down barriers that hold them back from achieving their style vision. Removing the things that get in the way of becoming the women they envision themselves to be. Helping them evolve their style just as they are evolving themselves.


They understand that their style is a big part of who they are, how they feel, and how they show up in the world.

And do you want to know the one thing they all have in common? They understand that their style is a big part of who they are, how they feel, and how they show up in the world. And they are totally ok with asking for help to realize that part of their vision.



Are you ready to ask for help?


If you're ready to stop feeling stressed about your closet, or shopping, or what to wear, or how you look every day, I'd love to talk to you about how we can change all of that. My Complete Style Transformation service - which comes with your own personal style website full of outfit combinations of the things you already own - is a complete game-changer for women. Not only does it remove the stresses of getting dressed every day and shopping for the right things, it also gives you complete confidence in how you look. Are you game? Set up a 30-minute Zoom chat on my calendar here to learn more - it's free!



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