• emsteinbrink

What's your {closet} relationship status?

Stuck in a rut, or madly in love?


Let's be honest, our closets are one of our top relationships. And highly influential on whether we have a good day or not, might I add. Some days, our closets makes us crabby and irritable, and other days, it makes us feel like a million bucks.


If I asked you, "What is your current relationship status with your closet?", what would you say?


Are you in the new young love phase where everything is shiny and new, and you get a high every time you put something on? You can hardly wait to to wear whatever is hanging inside your closet?


Or, are you in the comfortable middle phase, where it feels stable, and you're setting in? You still have moments of excitement here and there, but most days, it's pretty routine.


Or, are you at the mature phase, where nothing feels fresh or exciting anymore, just mundane, predictable and like you're starring in the movie, Groundhog Day?


Maybe you're thinking, I'm completely over this, and secretly wishing you could call it quits.


I find that women go from excited about their closets to bored at pretty different rates. Some have a high tolerance for sameness and routine, while others crave something new almost daily. Hence why clothing rental services like Rent the Runway or Trunk Club have become so popular.


And can you guess what most women do when they get bored? You got it. We go shopping! In fact, one study found that the #1 reason women (79% of respondents) go on a shopping spree and spend more than they should is to cheer themselves up. (Did you just cringe a little? I did, because I know from personal experience this is true!)


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Much like in our early dating days, when that new shiny relationship didn't feel exciting anymore, we just dropped it like a bad habit and moved on.


When it comes to our closet, though, the problem is that our desire to "move on" and fill that void with shopping isn't really solving our problems. Sometimes, you just need to love on what you got, and perhaps put a few boundaries in place.



How to spice things up


One of my favorite ways to love what you own is to get creative and re-imagine your clothes. Most women tend to categorize their clothes in just one way. For example...


A blazer is for work.

Jeans are for casual occasions.

Sweatpants are for errands on the weekend.

A sparkly top is for a party.


Now, imagine what would happen if you took away all those labels? You expanded your view of what those clothes could do. Imagine your closet as a team for a second. What if you closet was not filled with individual employees who have specific jobs, but team members that pitch in whenever it's needed, even if it's outside their job description.


When you can look at your closet in this new way, what you'll find is that you have a heck of a lot more options! The ability to mix and match your clothes in new ways is an easy way to never get bored and keep that spark alive! You'll fall in love with your clothes again and again. And no one will even know that you're wearing the same things over and over. (Booyah!) The best part is that you'll stop wasting your money on shopping splurges that weren't needed in the first place.


Read more about my favorite styling rule, "Opposites Attract" in this Instagram post.




Where to find inspiration


If you're looking for inspiration on how to spice things up and get creative, your favorite style influencers (you can follow me on Instagram, Facebook or LinkedIn) are a great resource to learn how to mix it up. Style influencers are known for trying out new trends and pushing the envelope when it comes to style.


Another great resource is your own Pinterest style or "dream closet" board. Take a scroll through what you've pinned and challenge yourself to re-create an outfit using what you already own in your closet. I try to do this for myself at least once a month to keep things interesting. It really does work!


Here's two Fall outfits I've re-created from my own Pinterest style board recently... click the images to view on Instagram.






When to call it quits


"OK, OK, Okay... " you may be saying, "I hear you, but this relationship really is over." I can't re-light this flame no matter what I do! To that I say, I hear you.


Here's when you know the gig is up:


#1 Your clothes don't fit.

Please please please, get those things that don't fit out of there! Donate them, resell them, trash them, whatever! They are not motivating you. In fact, they are taunting you every time you walk into your closet, making you feel guilty and shameful and unworthy. And nobody needs to be in a relationship like that. If you must keep something that you are hell-bent on fitting into once you reach your goal, at the very least, pack them up and move them out of sight, out of mind, until you reach your goal weight.


#2 Your clothes cause guilt.

I'm talking about the ones that someone gifted to you, but that you never liked. The ones with tags still attached, that you bought over a year ago and never wore. The ones that someone insisted looked amazing on you, but you actually hate. The ones that are so painful to wear that they sit untouched (think uncomfortable shoes, pants you can't sit in, dresses that are too tight to breathe). Ladies, make the declaration that these need to go! Why keep things that make you feel less than every time you walk into your closet. Clear out that bad juju!


#3 You simply don't love them anymore.

I like to say that you should absolutely love every single thing in your closet. Think this is a bit hopeful or out of touch? I can see how you would question whether you "love" a black cami, but trust me on this one. From the most extravagant to the most simple piece in your wardrobe, it should fit well, flatter your body, go with other things you own, and make you feel like a millions bucks. That's the definition of love as I see it. And if it doesn't do it's job, then it's got to go! Go in search for a replacement that does light you up, and make you feel your best.



Where do you go from here?


So where are you now in your closet relationship, after reading this? Do you feel like you can spice things up and make a go of what you have, or is it time for a refresh? Either way, know you can ask for help. You don't have to go it alone!


One of the most common pieces of feedback I get from my 1:1 Style Transformation clients is that I helped them wear their clothes in new ways.


"I'm so glad I hired Ellie because she helped introduce me to styles I never would have chosen for myself. Not only did she introduce me to new styles, but her style boards help me put new and previously owned pieces together." - Karen, Style Transformation client

Even though you may have once been focused on your style and had time to shop, sometimes life gets in the way and we can no longer give it the attention it deserves like we once could. If this sounds like you, I hope you'll reach out and talk about how I can help you feel like a million bucks every day, without all the hassle.



Experience a life-changing Style Transformation


I am currently booking clients for my 1:1 Style Transformation service this Fall, and I'd love for you to have one of those spots! My Style Transformation service includes defining your personal style, helping you decide what to keep and toss in your wardrobe, creating a personalized year-round wardrobe checklist to fill in holes in your closet, curated online shopping and creating hundreds of digital style boards with head to toe outfits so you never have to worry about what to wear again. You can say goodbye to long stares at your closet each morning for good! And all of this is accessible on your own personal style site, available 24/7 as an app on your phone!


Learn more about this service, and if this is right for you by booking a free (virtual!) 30-minute style consult with me.



Want more from me?


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