How to infuse joy into your life now.
This past weekend I had a follower of mine on Instagram reach out to say thank you. Thank you for a style tip I had shared recently about setting out your clothes the night before to ease the stress of mornings. And how by making this small change every day made a positive impact on her mood (she works from home exclusively now).
Now, for a little background.... this woman is a successful entrepreneur running her business from her home, and just had her third baby this past Summer. For anyone who has had a baby, you know that the following months to a year after giving birth have you feeling a bit out of sorts. Your normal clothes don't fit and the ones that do have spit-up on them constantly, you're exhausted from sleepless nights while still trying to work and run a household and in her case manage her other children. Coffee is your life blood. Basically, you're just trying to survive. Looking cute is NOT a top priority.
As we were chatting, she confessed that she's in that awkward phase of postpartum where nothing fits - your normal clothes don't work, and your maternity clothes are too big. This leaves you feeling pretty frumpy and not yourself. And along with this confession, she said she "didn't want to invest in new clothes for such a short season of her life."
And that right there is the most common thing I hear from women who are either trying to lose weight or reach a goal weight, or lose baby weight. They put their life on hold, waiting for some future event or circumstance to happen before they will allow themselves to feel good.
Let me repeat that again, and read it slowly this time:
Women tend to put their life and their chance at feeling good about themselves on hold until a future circumstance occurs.
Now, isn't this madness? My response to her was immediate and bold: "It's important to have things you can wear now that make you feel good."
No woman should have to withhold their joy or feel bad about themselves until a future date. They should give themselves permission to take action to feel good now, even if it's in small ways. Much like how buying a new workout outfit helps to motivate you in working towards your goal, wearing things that you feel good in and that fit you now will have you walking on air and checking yourself out in the mirror. Why choose to feel frumpy and lumpy and dumpy when you can choose something better for yourself now.
You can imagine my delight when she posted a photo of herself this weekend in a fitting room, with this caption:
"Embrace the season you're in.
I took the advice that @style.decoded gave out recently and started getting myself ready in the morning, even though I am home all day now.
I found that it overall improved my mood for the day, except...
My closet doesn't match my current size and that left me frustrated.
Today, I invested in a few new pairs of jeans for this season.
Maybe there are some things in your business that you could adjust for the season you are in."
Yes, girl, YAAASS! (And side note: I love how she turned this advice for business-owners to embrace whatever their season of business life is bringing and to adjust accordingly.)
So I ask you...
What if today, this week, this month, you could embrace where you are at, instead of fight it?
What if you could walk into your closet and feel like you have things to wear now that make you feel like a million bucks, instead of walking into your closet feeling dejected that nothing fits or brings joy.
What if you could buy one or two outfits to boost your mood, instead of making yourself settle until a future date comes.
For those who are already arguing that they don't want to waste their money buying new clothes now, here's what I want you to consider:
#1 You don't have to spend a lot of money to look good.
There are plenty of great options at lower prices, or you can buy second-hand some amazing brands right now at your local thrift stores or online options like ThredUP or Poshmark. Some of my favorite pocket friendly retailers include H&M, Zara, Target, Old Navy, Gap, Everlane, and Levis (amazing, affordable denim!).
#2 You can always sell your clothes down the road.
Let's say you reach your goal weight in three months and are ready for new clothes. If you are that worried about losing the money you invested in clothing right now, commit to selling your clothes on resale sites like Tradesy, Poshmark, ThredUP or any other number of options out there for clothing resale.
#3 Do those ill-fitting clothes really motivate you?
Stop for a moment to notice how you feel when you walk into your closet, only to be greeted by clothes you don't love, clothes that don't fit, or clothes that don't work for your current life. Really stop and pay attention. Does it lift you up to see jeans that are a size or two (or three!) too small, or does it leave you feeling less than? The feeling you have when you put on something you love vs. something you hate activates chemicals in your brain. Those chemicals (good or bad) flood your entire body and change the course of your day. Science has proven that how we feel when we get dressed can affect our mood, personality, behavior, attitude, mood, confidence and interpersonal connections. Now don't you agree, you're nicer when you like your outfit?
#4 What is your joy worth to you?
How would your world change if you made a choice to feel good in your clothes right now. Even if you are not where you want to be, having things that fit and flatter your current body can help you love what you got! Ask yourself honestly: How would it improve my self-confidence? How would it change how I interact with others, my spouse or partner, my kids, my friends, my co-workers or employees? How would it change my mood? How would it change my willingness to reach out and connect with others? (Be honest: How likely are you to schedule a coffee date with a friend or new biz connection if you feel frumpy?)
You see, getting dressed and feeling good daily in the clothes you wear isn't just about changing how you feel, it's about the ripple effect it has on those around you and the impact you make in your work daily.
So, tell me: Are you ready to embrace the season you're in?
OK, good. Now do this simple thing to keep you accountable: Write down one thing you can do this week to make a change towards embracing your current season.
Maybe it's buying a new pair of jeans that fit you perfectly.
Maybe it's buying a shirt in your favorite color that boosts your mood every time you put it on.
Maybe it's removing that pair of jeans from your closet that no longer fits and putting it out of sight, out of mind.
Maybe it's doing a full closet detox (see my guide on what to keep and what to toss in a closet detox)
Maybe it's finally throwing out that pair of maternity jeans, as it's been 8 months since your baby was born.
Maybe it's doing your make up and putting on your favorite lipstick, even if you never leave the house.
Maybe it's putting on a blouse you love and then turning your Zoom camera ON.
The point is, do something that makes you feel luxurious today instead of dumpy and unworthy of nice things.
I'd love to hear what you've committed to! Drop me a note in the comments and share!
Are you ready for an upgrade?
Whatever season of life you are in, you deserve to feel amazing every time you walk out the door (or walk into your home office!). I'd love to help you make the process of getting dressed easier - and ultimately help you build a closet that works for your life now. I am currently booking clients for my 1:1 Style Transformation service this Fall, and I'd love for you to have one of those spots! My program includes help with figuring out what to keep and toss in your wardrobe, creating a personalized wardrobe checklist to fill in holes in your closet, curated online shopping and creating style boards so you never have to worry about what to wear again. And all accessible on your own personal style site, available 24/7 as an app on your phone. Learn more about this service, and if this is right for you by booking a free 30-minute style consult with me.
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