How Authentic Style Builds Better Business Than Playing It Safe

You open your closet, look at the perfectly appropriate clothes in it, and feel like nothing fits. (And I’m not talking in terms of measurements). That deep-down sense of something being “off” can feel exhausting because it isn’t just about your wardrobe. It’s a powerful signal that the old playbook for showing up to blend in doesn’t work anymore.

You are meant to lead, not fit in. You’re being called to step into a greater, more authentic version of yourself… which can be incredibly scary. Yet, it is the fundamental difference between the visibility that got you where you are right now and the magnetic presence you need to reach your next level.

In this episode of The Visibility Shift, you’ll discover what it really means to stop dressing to fit in and start dressing to lead. I’ll discuss why this shift feels so vulnerable and is exactly what’s required to unlock your next level.

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3:08 – A visibility tale of two different scenarios

4:59 – Personal examples of why authenticity, while risky, is necessary

15:39 – Three ways that authenticity impacts your bottom line

17:56 – The cost of styling yourself to fit in

19:53 – The magnetic impact of internal and external alignment

Mentioned In How Authentic Style Builds Better Business Than Playing It Safe

The Pink Skirt Project

Eleanor Beaton

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Full Transcript

Welcome to The Visibility Shift, the podcast where style becomes your most powerful strategy for being seen, standing out, and leading boldly. I'm Ellie Steinbrink, stylist and personal brand coach, and if you've ever thought, "My style just isn't working anymore," take this as your sign. You're ready for your next level. And instead of launching into a panicked shopping spree, what you really need is a strategy. A style strategy that reflects where you're headed, not who you used to be or who you think you need to be to fit in.

Because when your style aligns with your brand and your vision, everything shifts. You lead with more presence, you attract the right opportunities and clients, and you fully step into the woman you're becoming. Because showing up as yourself, that's the most strategic thing you can do. Now let's get visible.

There's a moment in every ambitious woman's journey when the old playbook just stops working, where the old way of showing up in vain just doesn't cut it anymore, and something just feels off or misaligned.

Maybe up to this point, you've done everything you were supposed to do. You've checked the boxes, you've been professional, you fit in, you did all the right things. But for some reason, it just isn't fitting.

We can discover that things are off when we walk into our closet and while we have many nice things hanging in there, nothing feels quite right. So, we discover that what used to work—maybe something that was safe, expected, or that blend-right-in version of yourself—has quietly become a barrier for you. And quite frankly, this misalignment feels exhausting.

But I want to tell you that this feeling of misalignment is your call to step into greater authenticity in your visibility and in your leadership. Here's the thing I want to be honest with you about. Authenticity, it is a huge buzzword that we're throwing around right now.

In fact, when I went to this last women's event full of entrepreneurs and business leaders and founders, all they talked about was authenticity. But the truth of the matter is that authenticity can feel really scary and risky and totally vulnerable.

Because honestly, showing up as yourself—in your true voice, in whatever message you have a passion for, and yes, even in your style—it feels vulnerable because it's not just your brand on display anymore. It's you.

This episode I want to dig into what it really means to stop dressing to fit in and start dressing to lead. And I'm going to talk about why this shift feels so vulnerable and why it's exactly the thing that's going to unlock your next level of visibility, magnetism, and presence, something we all want.

First, I want to paint two different pictures for you. The first one is we're going to imagine we're going to a very important meeting, maybe it's with a dream client, or maybe you got a speaking engagement where you're going to step on a really big stage for you. On this day, you're wearing a completely safe and appropriate outfit. It's perfectly fitting into whatever scenario you're stepping into. It's fitting in with other women you've seen in the same space. It's professional, it nails the dress code, and you feel good. You feel like you fit in.

Okay, that's one scenario. The second scenario is now imagine you're stepping into that same scenario. Maybe it's that dream client or it's going on to that dream stage. This time, you're wearing something you secretly wished you could always wear and you truly love. It's a full expression of you.

It may have broken a few rules in terms of what you've seen before, what has been expected in this space, but it's also kind of exhilarating. There's no question that you're going to stand up because you're not doing it like every one has done it before. But you're honoring yourself.

What I'm talking about here in these two scenarios is the key difference between the visibility that got to this point in your business and in your career and the visibility that is going to be required of you to grow to that next magnetic level.

The difference here is that everyone gets to actually see more of you. Not a carbon copy of everyone else they see in this industry or in your space, but they actually see you, what makes you special, what makes you tick, what makes you magnetic.

Now, let's just be honest. Did your nervous system just take a little bit of a hit thinking about that second scenario? The one where you're no longer playing small and you're just living full out, especially with your style? The one where you're just being yourself?

I can bet that maybe it makes you feel a little bit anxious. And I'm here to tell you, that's totally normal. But that's the thing we want to lean into, because visibility at this new level of being fully authentic is really, really vulnerable.

There's just no sugarcoating it, you guys. It's not just, "Are they going to like my brand or my company, me representing that brand or that company?" Maybe you had a role in corporate in the past or another company where it wasn't you that was being sold. But now it becomes, "If I become more authentic and I show up more authentic, and I let people see me, are they actually going to like and accept me?" Do you see the difference there? No wonder we freak out.

I want to talk about a recent example, a personal example, where I was being called into greater levels of visibility, personally and professionally, and I was feeling incredibly vulnerable about all of it. I recently went to a couple of events in Canada. One was an all-day conference—female entrepreneurs and leaders and founders—and the second was an intimate dinner experience that I signed up for where I knew I was going to be surrounded by women who were a lot farther ahead than me.

I knew I needed to be at these events and it did scare me a little bit to sign up for these, but I knew I needed to be there. I knew I needed to put myself in these rooms that would advance me personally and professionally.

So this first event I went to is called the Pink Skirt Project. Fantastic event. It was amazing. It was very energizing. The thing about this event was that they suggested beforehand that to honor the theme of the event—the Pink Skirt Project—that you wear something pink.

If I'm just being honest, I've always struggled with aligning with dress codes. I've kind of always been one that wants to debunk the system and do my own thing. And hence why I'm here doing what I do.

But I really felt conflicted this time because there was one part of me that really, really wanted to fit in and kind of play by the rules and not be the one that was going against the grain. But the other part of me wanted to honor what I love.

Honestly, I don't have a lot of pink in my wardrobe. There are a few items in my wardrobe that are pink, but not a lot. The ones that were in there, they just didn't bring me to life energetically.

Honestly, I could have purchased something new, which I later found out as I was talking to other women at the event. A lot of women did, in fact, have to go buy something that was pink in order to fit in at this event.

But I think deep down, if I was listening to my gut, there was something else I wanted to wear. There was something in my closet that would make me show up in a better energetic space.

So I was really caught in between these two feelings of, on one hand, wanting to fit in, and on the other hand, wanting to honor myself. You won't be surprised that the choice I made was to honor myself.

So I did, in fact, walk into this event wearing not a single thing of pink, not even an accessory or a shoe or handbag. Nothing was pink. And I'm just going to tell you quite honestly that it was a little bit nerve-wracking.

I was really worried that I would stand out like a sore thumb. I was worried that I might offend somebody, the organizers perhaps. I really was worried as I walked into this event and was confirmed that literally everyone, except for a handful of us—I'm talking maybe five or so people out of 300—were not wearing pink, myself included.

In that moment, when I was feeling all of that doubt and all of that worry and fear of being judged and people thinking, "Who is she? Why is she walking in here when clearly there's a theme going on here? Well, who does she think she is?" I made a decision in that moment to just honor myself and stand by my decision.

I knew deep down, if I trusted my gut, that what I was wearing was making me come alive. It was going to be the thing that made me stand taller. It was going to be the thing that honored who I am as a person and who I am as a brand.

It was honestly something that was going to give me courage to go talk and network and be immersed in this event like I knew I needed and wanted to be. Now, I'm not here advising you to debunk the dress code, but I am saying that showing up as your full self is always the best policy, even if it ruffles a few feathers.

Which I honestly don't think that me not showing up in pink ruffled feathers, but it's still the better policy to bet on yourself.

Then the second event that I had when I was in Canada in Kelowna, BC, was this intimate dinner where I knew I was going to be surrounded by much fewer women, but women who were at a higher level than me. It was going to require a lot of vulnerability in terms of sharing and being open about where I am personally and professionally on my journey.

It was also going to be an opportunity for content creation. So I knew there was going to be a photographer there, a videographer there, and that put an even bigger pressure on this event because I really wanted to nail it. I wanted my outfit to be perfect.

I mean, I know you've been in scenarios where you wanted so badly to find the perfect outfit, and I was right along with you in that stress. In this case, the dress code was much more loose. The organizers had said, just wear something that makes you feel like "her" or the next level of yourself.

And even here, talking to you guys as a stylist, would you guess that I stressed for weeks over what to wear? Honestly, I did what I see so many of my clients do or the trap they fall into, which is to panic shop. I totally did that.

I was also in a space where I looked at my closet. When I thought about what is the next-level version of me? What would she wear? I was feeling like nothing fit.

And so I did. Yeah, I ordered a bunch of things. I brought them in. I was trying them on. Honestly, it was some new pieces mixed with some of my old pieces. And some of these outfits were sleek as hell. You know, they were polished. They were like what I think of when I think of Powerhouse Woman.

I don't know, to me that's like sleek, polished. There was this one beautiful navy outfit. It was like fully coordinated. And while on one hand, it felt very sleek, something inside of me was nagging, like, "This just doesn't feel right."

This is a version of me. Maybe I could show up and I could feel like I've got things all together and I could feel like I'm going to be this seven-figure business owner. But then there's this part of me that just wants to be fun and playful and bold and feminine and have bold combinations and mixed patterns. And if I'm just being honest with myself, that feels like a better reflection of me.

So after a lot of debate and probably way more stress than was necessary, I ended up selecting an outfit that was true to that playful, fun, bold side of and colorful part of my personality and in my style. Because if I'm just, again, being honest about what draws me in terms of my personal style and what I feel like is a reflection of my personality, it's that.

It's not the sleek, hyper-polished, flawless power suit kind of look. Even though I kind of desperately want that for myself, it's just not. You know, was it the most fashion-forward? I don't know. Maybe, maybe not. If you've been on my socials, you've probably seen the outfit. Did it say a powerhouse woman? Maybe? I don't know. But did it honor me? 100%.

Neither of these two scenarios, these two events that I had in Canada, neither of these outfit choices were easy for me. I really, at the core of me, just wanted to be accepted. I wanted to feel like I was worthy of attending these events, which I know sounds silly to say, but I'm just going to say the thing because I think this is the thing that women, like you and me, we have these feelings, so let's stop pretending that we don't. Okay?

I wanted to be accepted. I wanted to fit in. But I also wanted to feel like myself because I know when I show up as myself time and time and time again, it is proven that produces the best results for me and my business. But that is the constant negotiation we're having, isn't it? Especially when you're growing.

When you honor yourself and what you love, especially in your style, you really do show up differently. There is an energetic shift. People can feel it, you can feel it, but other people can feel it too. It's the difference I described, you know, in that opening story, those two scenarios about wearing what's expected versus wearing what feels aligned. That is a giant difference.

Honestly, when I arrived at that dinner and at the other event, one of the first things we did was record that content. Where I was the spotlight, it was just me and the camera and a bunch of new friends who I didn't know. Honestly, if I hadn't chosen the outfit that I had that made me feel most me, I would have had a much harder time showing up and feeling free and at peace and like myself in front of the camera.

That authenticity? Not the outfit, okay? The outfit is a product of your authenticity, of being true to yourself. That ultimately is what gave me confidence.

Now, you guys know, if you've been following along for a while, that authenticity is a core piece of my work and my services, and my beliefs. But I've often wondered, and maybe you have too, "Is authenticity a real business strategy? Or is it just something we like to talk about?" We like to throw it around, it sounds like a nice word, it sounds very inspiring.

I am so happy to report that it turns out authenticity actually is a real business strategy. In fact, when I was at the Pink Skirt Project, I met a woman, her name is Eleanor Beaton. She is the founder of a media company and she's also a business coach for female founders. She dropped a truth bomb from her own research that literally stopped me in my tracks.

What she confirmed is that showing up as yourself, aka authenticity, isn't just empowering. Guess what? It impacts your bottom line too. What she found in her research is that authenticity in the way you show up in your brand leads to increased trust.

I mean, think about the environment that we're living in today, you guys. Having trust is so valuable. It's invaluable, okay? Also, authenticity leads to faster decision-making, so the time to purchase from the point someone is introduced to you to the time when they decide to work with you, that time is shortened.

The third thing is, it impacts your client retention. So the longer that you are able to keep those relationships that you've worked so hard to secure. Man, think about that. What she is saying and proving in her own research is that the more of you that shows up in your business and your brand, the easier it is for people to say yes. The easier it is for them to stay and support you and what your vision is, the more that they trust.

You don't just attract more. You attract better, more aligned, more loyal, more engaged. If you're sitting here thinking about all this and what it might take for you to actually put this into action, if you're thinking about what would it look like for me to show up more authentically, and you're starting to feel slightly uncomfortable, that's good.

That's exactly where I want you to be because listen, this is meant to be a kick in your pants. It's meant to call you and me to the carpet about what it takes to build a magnetic personal brand. What it takes to have powerful and impactful visibility. It's meant to quite blatantly send you the message that fitting in and playing it safe may feel good in the moment.

You know, it may feel nice and cozy and like, "Oh, I'm just okay with staying here." Okay, but it's costing you. You are not here to fit in. If you're someone who has a vision and you want to have that vision be seen by more and more people and you want this to grow, you are not here to fit in.

If you're the leader who wants something bigger, you need to be committed to standing out. The longer you resist this, the slower your growth is going to be, and the longer you are going to wait for those results you've been craving.

And I know all these feelings are coming up for you right now about showing up in a more authentic way. You really just have to decide. I love this reframe: "What is more painful for you right now, staying where you are and potentially stunting your personal growth and your professional growth, or is it more painful to just be a little more vulnerable, be a little bit more yourself, and see just how amazing it can be on the other side?"

You have to decide. Every time I choose the discomfort, is it fun? No. Is it the easy path? No. But at the end of the day, when I allow more of myself to be seen, especially in what I wear, I really do feel more freedom.

I feel a lot more peace. I feel more aligned. I feel less of a need to perform and get it right, which is just downright exhausting. I feel less decision fatigue because I'm so clear now. I know who I am. I know what she wears. If I'm just honest about it, there are less decisions to be made.

Honestly, creating this internal and external alignment makes me even more confident as a leader. That alignment is so key. This is what makes you magnetic. People can sense it. They can feel it. They know it before you even say a word. Your energy is undeniable and it's unignorable.

What I hope you've gotten from this is that your next level of visibility, it's not about getting everything right. It's not about checking the boxes. It's definitely not about fitting a certain code and doing what's always been done. It's about committing to being more of you.

I like to think about it not as what I need to add, but what I need to strip away to reveal more of me. And yes, that's definitely scarier, but it's also where your power lies. I just want to remind you, okay? You've gotten this far in your business. You've got the experience, the expertise, you've proven yourself, you've gotten results.

But now you need to let people see the real you, the one who leads with confidence and in total alignment. If you're nodding your head and your courage is building as you're listening to this episode, I'm thrilled about that, honestly.

If you want to take this a step further, I am running an eight-week experience for female entrepreneurs, founders, and leaders called the Visibility Edit. In this eight-week experience, you're going to create a strategy for how you show up visually and energetically that aligns with the leader and the woman you're becoming.

It's not the way in which you've ever been taught to dress or think about style, but it's a new mindset for creating a style that is truly distinct, truly yours, and will become truly magnetic. So if you're ready to stop hiding and start owning your presence, I'd love for you to come along.

You can apply at the link in the show notes and join me. This is going to be an experience you will never forget. It will be a turning point in your leadership, I guarantee it. It's coming this September. So go ahead to the show notes and apply to join.

With that, my friends, I want you to remember just one thing I said in today's episode, and I want you to journal about it. I want you to reflect on it and I want you to get really curious: If you were to allow more of you to come out in your leadership, specifically in relation to your style, what would you let go of and what would you start doing?

All right, until next time, my friends. I can't wait to see you on the next episode.

Thanks for joining me on The Visibility Shift. If something in today's episode made you pause, rethink, or gave you permission to stop playing small, it would mean so much to me if you'd leave a review at ratethispodcast.com/visibilityshift.

If you're ready to stop second-guessing and start showing up as the leader you are from the inside out, The Visibility Edit is where that shift begins. Head to elliesteinbrink.com to learn more and join the next round. Because the next version of you, she's not waiting for permission. She's waiting for you. Let's make it visible.