Are You Dressing Like the Face of Your Brand or Who You Used to Be?
- emsteinbrink
- 4 days ago
- 18 min read
You took the risk of starting and running a business. You’ve led teams and worked with dream clients. You’ve spoken on stages and showed up on social media. So you already feel confident in your role as a business owner.
But when it comes to your clothes, that confidence suddenly wavers. Why? Whether you’ve been playing it safe in black blazers or are dabbling in bold fashion but not feeling fully yourself, it’s time to shift your mindset, reclaim your style, and start showing up as the most authentic and magnetic version of yourself.
In this episode of The Visibility Shift, you’ll discover the surprising vulnerability of showing up visibly and authentically through your style as the face of your brand. I’ll unveil the common visibility blocks holding you back from fully expressing yourself through your wardrobe, what it’s costing you to stay stuck, and give you tips for how you can start to work through these blocks.
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2:49 – The biggest visibility block that shows up in your wardrobe
5:43 – Performative style and how to know when you’re doing that with your clothes
8:12 – The fear of being too much and taking up space with your style
13:11 – Benefits of leaning into authentic style and how it costs you if you don’t
15:09 – Three ways that authenticity moves the needle in your business
16:36 – How visibility blocks are rooted in old rules and expectations
21:12 – The real cost of playing it safe with your style
22:15 – First steps to overcome visibility blocks
Mentioned In Are You Dressing Like the Face of Your Brand or Who You Used to Be?
Full Transcript
Welcome to The Visibility Shift, the podcast where style becomes your most powerful strategy for being seen, standing out, and leading boldly. I'm Ellie Steinbrink, stylist and personal brand coach, and if you've ever thought, "My style just isn't working anymore," take this as your sign. You're ready for your next level. And instead of launching into a panicked shopping spree, what you really need is a strategy. A style strategy that reflects where you're headed, not who you used to be or who you think you need to be to fit in.
Because when your style aligns with your brand and your vision, everything shifts. You lead with more presence, you attract the right opportunities and clients, and you fully step into the woman you're becoming. Because showing up as yourself, that's the most strategic thing you can do. Now let's get visible.
Welcome back to another episode of The Visibility Shift. I'm so glad you're here. One thing I've been thinking a lot about lately that is a paradox is that a lot of the women that I work with are already so confident. I think it's interesting because you'll hear a lot about how style gives you confidence. But I've always thought that was funny because when I work with my clients, the clients that I'm working with, they already have a ton of confidence.
They had the guts and the confidence to start a business and run a successful business. They're leading teams, speaking on stages, attracting and working with dream clients, taking risks, and showing up confidently on social media. So when we talk about visibility, and there's a lot of conversation out there about being afraid of being visible, I don't see that with my clients. I don't see that with the women I'm working with.
But here's the interesting thing. They can come with all of this confidence, but when it comes to being visible in their wardrobe, suddenly it's like their confidence wobbles. I think it's because being visible in your clothes feels way more vulnerable, doesn’t it? I mean, what's more exposing than pasting your personality on the outside for everyone to see and judge?
So I want to dive into this today because I'm curious. And maybe you're thinking, “Oh my gosh, this feels like me. Why am I willing to take risks and be so bold in other aspects of my business, but maybe I'm still holding back a little bit with my wardrobe? Why is that?” I want to dive into what I think are some of the reasons we're doing that—the blocks, the common visibility blocks I see in women's wardrobes, especially if you are a personal brand. I want to talk about what this may be costing you to stay stuck in these visibility blocks, and I'm going to give you some tips for how we can start to work through this.
Let's talk about what I think is probably the biggest block when it comes to being visible in your wardrobe, and that's because visibility in your wardrobe feels vulnerable. You can be confident in your skills, your message, your leadership, your voice, and you can still hesitate to show up boldly and boldly in your style.
In fact, I had a discovery call with a female leader, a pretty high-up female leader, that so perfectly illustrates this point. As we were talking through what she wanted for her style and the vision for her style, she said in one breath that she had admired this woman she’d seen recently on stage, who was fully embracing her personality. She was breaking all the rules for the industry she worked in. She wasn’t fearing any judgment. She was just there in her element. She said, “It was so attractive.”
Then in the very next breath, when she was talking about what she was looking for in her own style, she said, “But I don't want to stick out too much.” I had to stop her at this point, with so much love, and said, “Do you realize what you just said? Do you realize the irony in the two things you just shared with me in a span of five minutes?”
That’s just the thing, isn’t it? Being visible is vulnerable. It looks like something we want for ourselves until it becomes ourselves. Approaching your style in a way that is more authentic, in a way that puts your heart out there for everyone to see, is going to get you attention, which ironically is what you both want and don’t want.
Whenever I talk about this idea of visibility and putting yourself out there and differentiating yourself, it makes me think of all of my years in marketing and advising my clients on their brands. When you’re promoting a brand of a Fortune 500 company or even a smaller business, it’s really easy to be vulnerable and loud about what makes them different because you’re marketing a business, not a person, right?
But when it comes to marketing ourselves as the brand—okay, so I’m talking to the woman right now who is a business owner but is also the face of the brand—when we talk about marketing ourselves as the brand, everything changes. It feels so much more vulnerable to show what makes us unique and different. It somehow feels way scarier, and like we should rein it in. But at the end of the day, the same principles apply. Whether you’re branding a Fortune 500 company or you’re branding yourself, in order to do that, you have to differentiate. You have to stand out. You have to break through the clutter.
That requires being vulnerable and okay with who you are and what makes you different. This topic brings up another aspect of visibility I see quite a lot, which is how easily women, especially personal brands, can get into a performative space with their style. It feels like we are being bold, okay, we're like, "We’re going to wear that really loud, sparkly, knee-high boot."
Maybe sometimes that is an authentic expression, but sometimes it feels like we’re actually just masquerading around with a costume that isn’t really a reflection of who we are. It’s performative. In those instances, maybe that performance is what we’re calling authentic style, but it’s really not. Believe me, you can get lots of attention and compliments this way, but what I want you to consider is to maybe catch yourself and ask, “Is this an honest reflection of me and my brand, or is this just a facade?”
This reminds me of one of the clients I worked with. If you’ve been listening to the podcast, she was a client I interviewed early in the season. Her name is Brooke, and she’s a great example of this. She has a ton of confidence. She’s running her own business. She’s had various roles—running her business and also being a CMO—and she was getting lots of compliments on her style.
Everywhere she went, people were telling her, “Oh my gosh, you look so put together. You look so stylish. You look so great. You look so on trend.” She knew what to do with her style well enough to get a compliment—not that that’s the only thing she was going for—and yet when we sat down and started working together, she confessed that looking in the mirror, she felt like something was off. She said, “You know, it looks good, but it doesn’t feel like me. It’s like I’m checking a box, and it’s fine for the outside world, but for me, something feels off.”
If you’ve ever felt this way, that’s how you know you’re in the performative zone with your style. It wasn’t until we did this work together and she ended up naming her personal style words—we usually define three, but she came up with this phrase, which I think is so awesome—which was “elegant badass.” Then everything clicked for her.
After the time we worked together, she was still getting a lot of compliments. It was just that this time it felt different to her because it was so much more authentic. She knew that this style was an authentic reflection of her. It felt so much more embodied. She was not dressing for validation anymore; she was dressing for alignment, and that’s when everything shifted.
Another aspect of visibility blocks when it comes to your wardrobe is this fear of being too much, and man, this is a big one. Why is it so hard for us to take up space, especially when it comes to our style? Why is it so hard for us to put our stake in the ground and say, “This is who I am”?
Here again, I have many clients whose marketing and content and message are very bold. They are totally okay with cutting through the noise, even saying the hard, difficult, or uncomfortable thing. They do it because that’s their brand, and that’s how they’ve established this credibility and the successful business that they have. Yet this very same woman who is willing to say the hard or uncomfortable thing may actually struggle to do the same in her wardrobe for fear that she will “stand out too much,” “rock the boat,” or “actually be seen.”
You might be thinking, “Ellie, I don’t really struggle with this. I’m just as bold in my voice and my brand and messaging as I am in my style.” You may feel like that’s what you’re doing. So I want to share a couple of examples. Maybe you’ll find that you see yourself in these examples.
The first one I want to talk about is a client named Natalee, and she was also a guest on my show earlier in the podcast. Go and listen to that if you want to hear more about her. Honestly, Natalee’s business that she created—the name of her business is Natalee Gets Shit Done. She is bold in every part of her business: how she thinks about running her business, how she thinks about setting boundaries around her time—the name of her company—all of it is bold.
But when it came to her wardrobe, she had the realization that she was half-committing to being bold. She was still carrying this old corporate conditioning because she had spent most of her career in a corporate setting, understanding that black is king. She had also gotten some feedback from a manager earlier in her career that basically told her, “Don’t stand out too much.”
How this parlayed into her real life is that she would buy maybe one bold piece, like a bold blouse with color or pattern, but she would always find herself grounding that outfit with a pair of black pants or a black blazer or putting something more neutral or subdued with it so she wouldn’t be too crazy. She wanted to be safe. She wanted to be serious. It’s what she thought she had to do to earn her clients’ trust, which she thought she had to do to avoid rejection and judgment, ultimately.
The moment she realized, after we started working together, that she was still dressing for rules she no longer believed in, the whole game changed for her. She stopped hiding behind the black. She fully embraced her girly, floral, feminine, powerful style and really just embodied, “This is who I am. Take it or leave it.”
This concept of standing out too much reminds me of another client who happens to be a six-foot-tall woman who already loved wearing vibrant colors and bold outfits. She had a penchant for it—that was who she was. But every time she would go to a conference or do a speaking engagement, she always felt like she needed to tone it down, not only because she was a tall woman, but also because of the fact that she loved bright colors.
She was surrounded by, or the industry she worked in was heavily male-dominated. Of course, that comes with a lot more serious-looking suits. She knew that didn’t fit her, but it felt so uncomfortable. It wasn’t until she realized, “This isn’t the mold that I can squeeze myself into. This wasn’t even made for me,” that she finally said, “You know what? I am a six-foot-tall woman, and I love wearing vibrant colors, and I am going to be seen, and that’s who I am. So here I am.”
Then the last example is a client who is a keynote speaker, and her platform talks about doing networking right. The way in which she delivers her content is completely hilarious. It’s loud. It’s honest. It’s cutting through the noise, which is why she’s so successful. But even with her, who again, you would see as a strong, vibrant woman, she was taking some risks in her style, but there were still moments where she would share with me that when she was in front of certain audiences—like she ended up needing to present to the construction industry, which was a big part of her client base—she would say, "Well, I can't wear what I actually would want to wear because I'm standing in front of a bunch of men who are in overalls and work boots. How can I stand up in an outfit that feels totally me?" So you can see how there's this tension between being one way in terms of your content and your brand, but then feeling hesitant to fully commit.
Maybe you can relate to some of these stories, or you can relate to the doubt that creeps in when you focus too much on others or external responses to your style. Maybe you've wondered, "What if I go too far? What if this is too risky? What if people think it's too loud or too bold for the space I'm in?"
A valuable perspective I can offer here is that I know my clients' stories before and after their transformation. I can tell you with confidence that in every single example where my client leaned into being more authentic in their style, it led to them being more magnetic in various forms. Whether they got even more good attention, whether that was being in person or otherwise, they attracted more of the right clients. It propelled them even faster toward the growth of their business.
These are real results that have happened as a result of my clients stepping into what’s them. Not once did they get, “That was too much,” or “You’re trying too hard,” or “This just isn't right for this space.” As for rejection, the only kind of rejection they were getting was from the people or opportunities that weren’t aligned for them anyway. That wasn't coming together. That's the kind of rejection they wanted in order to run the business that they loved.
You see, what we think and believe will cost us or work against us—which is, by the way, standing out too much—that is actually the belief that is costing you. That’s the mindset that is costing you. Do you see the irony in this? Fitting in and following the ways in which it’s always been done feels safe, I get it. But ultimately, it’s costing you your authenticity, and it’s costing you greater success, potentially better connections, more aligned clients, and honestly, a feeling of freedom that you aren’t faking it or fitting into a mold that was never meant to suit you.
It’s worth noting here that I realize I'm talking a lot about authenticity because authenticity is a core value of mine personally, but also in my business. I also get that authenticity is a huge buzzword right now that's being thrown around in the entrepreneurial and leadership space. The reason I keep coming back to authenticity is because it's not just a way of being, but it actually has business results.
A woman named Eleanor Beaton, who is a business coach for female founders, actually discovered in her own research that authenticity moves the needle in your business in these three ways. Number one, it builds trust with potential clients. Holy cow, think about the environment that we're living in and how hard it is to earn the trust of a potential client. Number two, she found that being authentic shortened the sales cycle and decreased the time to purchase. Hello, how many of us would love that right now? Number three, it increased the retention of the clients you already have. So all that work you do to get a client, you keep them longer.
The bottom line I want you to remember about standing out is that playing safe in your wardrobe might feel like the right move in order to gain credibility, in order to look professional, in order to earn respect of those in your industry or of your clients. But it's actually the thing that's pushing your success further away.
I want to talk about a third thing that I see as one of the most common visibility blocks when it comes to women's style, and that is old rules and expectations that are still driving our clothing decisions. Maybe it was your corporate life that taught you to dress to the level of your client. I know that was true for me, working in client service for much of my life, or believing that black is the most professional and credible color to wear. Maybe it was messages from your family that we don't want to make too big of a splash of ourselves, we don't want to draw too much attention, we should tone it down and be humble.
Or maybe it's the industry you now work in, driving your decisions, which might be in order to look really professional and credible, you need to wear a blazer, or maybe you need to look like a boss babe. You need to wear pink if you're a speaker. Honestly, don't even get me started on speaker dress code rules. In fact, I'm going to be recording an entirely separate episode just about debunking speaker dress code rules, so stay tuned for that.
Let me give you a few examples of clients who found themselves in these visibility blocks because of rules that they believed in. One of my clients is a leader in the financial advising space. She wore all the right things. She's someone who finds herself often on stage speaking at conferences or just attending conferences on panels. She's highly visible. She's recording videos for her clientele to watch.
She really felt like she had to step up and do the right thing for her industry, which was a lot of blazers, a lot of neutrals, a lot of being serious because, hey, we're talking about money here. We're talking about people's finances. We want people to take us seriously. But when we started working together, she told me she secretly hated, despised wearing blazers.
Over the course of the last few years of her career, she had started to find her own brand, her own voice. It was something that was gaining her some attention. She really stood out because she was speaking about personal finance in such a different way. People were paying attention, and they loved it. She realized when we started working together that the style of her voice, the style of her brand, was a total mismatch to the way she was showing up because she was still wearing someone else's uniform, and she was still playing by the rules.
That was not in alignment with the voice she was creating, which is “I’m approachable.” So you can guess one of the first things we did was we threw blazers out. We stopped believing that she has to wear a blazer every time she finds herself on stage.
I just started working with a client who also works in the financial space. I tend to have a lot of clients in the financial space, I guess, but she's a consultant and a coach in the financial space. She had said early in her days of her career, she was surrounded by men, and she often felt like she needed to tone down her femininity. She did that intentionally to avoid negative touches or comments and was really trying to build up her credibility.
As a result, she thought, "Well, I might as well just look like the men because that's how I got to play the game." But now, as a seasoned coach and consultant and someone who's been in this industry for more than 20 years, she's really not as concerned about holding up to those old rules and is willing to say, “You know what? Hey, I'm a woman. Guess what? I'm working in a male-dominated space, and I'm okay with letting my femininity shine through in a way that's powerful and assured.”
What I want you to know about following outdated rules or following suit with the norms that are around us is that we truly believe this will give us credibility. We think it will earn us trust and more clients. We think it keeps us safe. We buy into this idea that following the rules is the pathway to success, as if someone had a proven formula we just need to follow.
In fact, I talk about following formulas in a separate episode. Go back and listen to that one if you haven't. So we keep up with it, right? We become so convinced that this is the pathway that we just don't want to do something different. We don't want to rock the boat.
What I want you to consider is that this very belief will keep you stuck from being truly visible in your style and in your business. Following others' rules or molds will always feel disconnected. It will feel performative, and ultimately, it will block your potential as a speaker or a leader or whatever your role is in your business.
The reason I decided to record this episode is because there's something bigger at stake here for you and your brand. The real cost of letting these visibility blocks in your style take over is that you stay hidden. You blend in. You dilute your personal brand. All that work that you've put into building your brand can get lost.
All that work that you put into getting that big stage appearance, and then the outfit falls short, or the outfit feels not in alignment with everything people have come to know about your brand. You may feel like this is the safe approach. You may feel like appeasing others will earn you trust, credibility, and avoid that rejection we all hate so much. But what's actually happening is no one sees your uniqueness.
In a world where trust, differentiation, and cutting through the noise matter more than ever, you have to ask, “What's the bigger risk? Staying hidden or being 'too much'?”
All right. As we wrap up today, I want you to remember this. It's not whether you can be visible. I already know you can. The real question is, can you be visible as yourself? Can you be authentically visible?
Your hesitation to do this isn't a lack of confidence. I already know that. What's under these visibility blocks is a fear of authenticity. The good news is this is something you can overcome because I've seen it time and time again with my clients. The first step is always, always, always awareness. So hello, welcome. That's what you've just done—awareness.
Hopefully, this episode has increased your awareness about where maybe you're blocked. From there, as I do with all my clients, it's a matter of shifting your mindset away from these limiting beliefs and allowing yourself to truly try something different. See what happens when you fully trust and bet on yourself. Trust that being your most authentic self is what propels your business forward.
The other mindset shift that needs to happen is treating your style like any other area of your business or leadership—worthy of strategy, worthy of investment, worthy of courage. If any of this is hitting home for you, I just want you to know this is exactly the kind of work we do inside all of my one-to-one and group programs.
We don't start right into the shopping and the styling because I know better. I know that these hiccups can really get in the way of finding that style that is truly magnetic for you. We start with getting clarity around how your style can align with your brand in a magnetic way, in a differentiated way, so that your voice doesn't get lost in this saturated market that is our reality.
So if you're thinking, "I would love to put some more time and effort into these visibility blocks around my style so that I can step away from blending in and start standing out," go ahead and go down into the show notes, where you can learn about my Standout Style Kickstarter service. That's one of my one-to-one service options. Or you can get on the waitlist for my next group program, which will be in 2026.
With that, I would love to know if this piqued any insights or questions for you. You can always reach out on my Instagram or my LinkedIn. Just message me and say, “Hey, I heard this. This is what you got me thinking about.” I love hearing from you. But until next time, I hope you remember that standing out should not be feared. Blending in should be feared. We'll see you in the next episode.
Thanks for joining me on The Visibility Shift. If something in today's episode made you pause, rethink, or gave you permission to stop playing small, it would mean so much to me if you'd leave a review at ratethispodcast.com/visibilityshift.
If you're ready to stop second-guessing and start showing up as the leader you are from the inside out, The Visibility Edit is where that shift begins. Head to elliesteinbrink.com to learn more and join the next round. Because the next version of you, she's not waiting for permission. She's waiting for you. Let's make it visible.
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